Tragicomic memoir of
a reluctant atheist
Fraught with anxiety, little David is troubled
why Nuns wear wedding rings,
why a confessed killer gets to go to Heaven,
why Protestants are buried on the other side of the fence,
why there are many half-souls in Limbo because of his spilled sperm.
A funny and sad memoir filled with a true cast of characters.
why Nuns wear wedding rings,
why a confessed killer gets to go to Heaven,
why Protestants are buried on the other side of the fence,
why there are many half-souls in Limbo because of his spilled sperm.
A funny and sad memoir filled with a true cast of characters.
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His Mom
a true Catholic Saint with tragedies in her past His Big Sister the entertainer, with a big tragedy in her future St. Louis the perfect, first-born brother Maurice-the-piece-of-shit the violent drunken husband of his mom Alfred & the Dancing Bubbalingas his biological father The One True Church Sister Margaret, God, Jesus, and 266 Popes A slew of childhood classmates Hippo, Patsy the Flea, Mouldy Susan, Hamster, Mute, Flake, Gotch, Mean Dean, & more from the introduction“It's not a lie if it makes a good story,” I hear from my sister. “Telling a lie is a venial sin,” I hear from my mom. These are the two women who raise me. Each having one of my arms, pulling in opposite directions. Dumb David in the middle with exactly 50/50 divided loyalties. Go with my blasphemous big sister and have a scary fun time ... or ... stay with my brooding, tortured mother and have all the comforts of a safe childhood home. Decades later, while I'm preparing the dual funeral of my mom and sister, the pissy Priest is giving me a strict two-minute time limit for each eulogy. He’s a traditional priest who dislikes eulogies usurping the Funeral Mass, reluctantly allowing a lay person to speak before the service starts. After accepting my word of having the Catholic sacraments of Baptism, Communion, Confession, and Confirmation, he allows me to go up to his pulpit in his church to summarize their lives in a few words before the official start of the Mass I've paid for. As I never got a chance to properly brag about these two loving and loyal women—each in their own way—this book is my attempt to fully flesh out their lives. And mine too. - David Robert Loblaw drloblaw@gmail.com |
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